The Real Ending?

“Tell me a story with a real ending,” you said all of a sudden. 

It was our first day moving into that shaggy room. I sat near the balcony, making sketches. You sat behind me, reading Hemingway.

I sipped my last coffee as I wrote the story inside my mind.
“Somewhere...,” I began, “there are two people twisting and wandering at every path and road together. As the sun goes down, they down to opposite directions. Sadly, they’re just two people impaired by remembrance.”
You sighed and turned to your Hemingway. And I to my sketchbook.

“Will you remember us then?” once again, your voice broke the silence. So I laughed and turned my back to you. 

You smiled, “I change my question. Which memory of us you will remember the most?”

Sunset passed. In a second, the room went dark, yet your big brown eyes gleamed.
“Will words ever be enough?” I asked, “and will memories ever stay?”
You closed your book and frowned. So I smiled and turned back to my sketchbook.

It was silence. 

Suddenly you wrapped your hands around my waist and put your head on my shoulder. Chilly breeze slapped my face, yet your body felt so warm. 

“I rather collect moments,” I said, “and this will be my favorite ones.”
I felt your laughter on my back. Then you started to hum. It was your favorite song.

…

I’m sitting next to your bedside, reading Hemingway out loud for you, 

“after awhile I went out and left the hospital and walked back to the hotel in the rain. The end.” 

And I closed the book, reaching out to hold your wrinkled old hand. It still feels so warm. The room is bright, yet I can’t see your big brown eyes. They are closed.

“Don’t worry, I will be fine. You may rest now,” I whisper in your ear. You do as I told and breathe your last breath. Somehow, the air crooning your favorite song.


END?



Denpasar, October 21st, 2017

Dream

How often do you dream? Could you always remember your dream? The stories, the settings, the people? Do dreams even have meanings? Or they just our fantasies?
I've never understood dreams, therefore I've never took it seriously or even bothered to remember it.

But that was before. Dream has drawn my attention to reveal the secrets since my dreams has become my reality. 

For this past few months I kept dreaming about the same person. A guy who seems to know me very well has appeared in my dreams very often. Not taken in strange setting or has strange stories, it's always the places I've known.

Some of my friends said he's a guy from my past life, some others said he might be my future life. Whoever he is, wherever he came from, I begin to enjoy his company on my dreams. He become more and more often come to my dreams, and when he missed a night, he'll come to apologies the next night. He told me about his life, what do he do for living, how silly his childhood was, how beautiful the little town he lives, his neighbors, and all. He's an engineer, an electrical engineer working on hospital at the little town, as technician. He lives in a small house with his mother, where he invited me to a dinner and introduced me to his mother. He's a nice young man who loves his mother with all his heart. Charmed me.

My dreams has become my reality, where I always waiting for him excitedly, for our little chatting, for his stories, or even for only to see his smile. Oddly enough to admit it that I love him, but I do, and I know that he loves me too. Although we never say it, we know how our feeling.

To night is the night, the happiest dream in my life. NO, the happiest moment in my life, when finally he proposes me. I have no reason to not accept his. He seems very happy and tells me that it'll happen tomorrow, the next night.

"Why so soon? I need to tell everyone, you know, my friends, family, or at least my parent" I say.

"There is no need to tell them, they won't understand. You've agree to marry me, it will be happened tomorrow, no one can stop it. Besides, my dear, after you marry me you will be apart from your parent and your friends, you won't even need your physical body anymore" he says. Then I wake up.
"What did he mean?" I wonder. This morning I decided to find him. I can still remember where he lives, I know the roads, the streets, it's familiar for me. Then I drive my car following every roads and paths on my dream. About an hour later I'm entering the little town, very familiar, just like in my dream, except that I can't find the alley where his house supposed to be. I try to ask around but no one seems to knows the alley.

"There is no alley next to this shop Miss, I own this shop for 30years and never know there was such alley, not even in this neighborhood" says an old man in a little book shop where on my dream it supposed to be in the alley's left.

I'm stuck, back sitting on my car to try to remember all my dream, when suddenly I hear his voice from out of nowhere. No, not anywhere, it's echoing inside my head.

"It will happens tonight, dear, our wedding".

---THE END---

Surabaya, 10 May 2015

The Only Chance

"Daddy, do you believe in ghost?" asked me on an evening to my dad. He raised his eyebrow and asked me back, "not really, where did you heard about ghost from?". 

I said our maid told me about it a week ago. He stared at me with wide eyes, "son, our maid has been passed away a year ago in the accident! You survived but she couldn't" he said. 

I was about to explain when someone opened the front door and cheerily yelled, "Daddy...we're hooomee!!". 

There stood my mom in doorway, her hand was full of grocery bags. There's someone else with her, a little creature who looks identical to me. I could see daddy's eyes getting wider and wider. He stood up from his chair and walked slowly to mom. 

"Daddy don't! He's not me!", I screamed, but he didn't listen to me. 

"What is it, John?" asked mom as she saw dad's confused face. He didn't say anything then hugged the little kid who looks just like me. 

I then walked to them as I had to tell them the truth. "Dad, mom, he's not me! That little creature is not me!!" I tried to speak to them as loud as I can, but they didn't listen to me. 

Dad looked back at the chair I sat before, frightened, then spoke to mom, "nothing dear, I just thought that I saw...uh it's nothing". 

He then helped mom with her grocery and held the little creature's hand then walked to the kitchen.

There's nothing I could do, I've lost my only chance to tell my parent the truth, to tell them that I didn't survive at that accident with our maid, that the little creature was not me, he is NOT their son.

---THE END---

Surabaya, 10 May 2015

Random Stuff

Starving Poetry

It's a starving poetry
By a girl in deep empty
Pocket's far from poor
But the rain's downpour

Yes the rain's pouring
And I'm starving
Too weak to get up
Dear bed, I'm giving up!


--------------------------------------------


Lost in time
Lost in space
You cross on my mind
Red blush on my face


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The sun is waiting to embrace the moon...in a place where time doesn't exist.

Rainbow

Dream

Dear Ray, the only light shining on my life,

Last night was the night when I arise from a dream of you.
Oh, how am I supposed to tell you how the memories suddenly followed. It's been forever since I could remember how I miss the touch of your shine and the warmness of your light.
Even though it brought a smile into the hole inside my heart, should I need to thank to you for coming into my dream?
There's no wonder if you're not able to read this letter. These words of my mind, the sound of my soul, will only spread as the sound of cosmic and be a part of the empty space of ether.
As you are shining on the earth and reaching the land of cold, the happiness you bring will be back to you, to your own life. That is all I wish, my dear ray.

With love,
Rain

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Rain, the only reason I believe in rain,

It's beyond the creation of the worlds, my dear, the time that I have been through waiting for you.
Oh the memories!
Enjoying every drop and every sound of yours falling from the skies. Singing your name in every days and nights of my life and my dreams. Sometimes full of trust but sometimes full of desperation. But you were gone.
For once, my dear, I have the courage to enter into your dream. Please don't take the blame on me.
Years and years of patience, waiting for your coming and your smile. That is all I wish, my cold little raindrops.

Yours,
Ray

The Balance

Dear Ray, my only light of desire,

You, the greatest source of light, the only light the earth praise. You bring thousands smile with your light. You bring countless joy and the happiness to all the living things with your shine and warmness.
What am I to stand beside you?
I am nothing to your glory. I am the source of disaster.
What am I worth to get your love?
I bring nothing but a sorrow to all the living things on earth. My tears are flood and drown. My thunder and lighting are deafen. My storms are nothing but demolition. The earth that I love, the green that I shower, none of them could be protected from the disaster I create.
I am the disaster.
I am the bad, my ray, what am I to stand beside you?

With love,
Rain

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Rain, my dear rain,

What is good and what is bad?
Without you, my dear, none of the living things on earth would praise me. Without you, my love, none of any power could supervise me. Yes, my precious, none of this world, not even me, but you have the power to decrease my light, my shine, my warm, and my fire.
I am, my dear, the wildest source of light for the earth and all the living things. I shower them warmness yet burn them with fire. I give them light yet get them blind.
The wildest, my dear, I am the wildest light the living things could get. I am the wildest that only you, only you my rain, your pure cold tears, have the power to quell the fire I create. Only you, your whistle wind, have the power to blow the heat I create. Only you, your dark gloomy cloud, have the power to shade the blind I create. None of the earth, but you could take a hand over my ego and anger.
Stay with me, my dear rain, balance me, the living things, and the earth, your beloved earth. Stay with me, my little raindrops...

Forever yours,
Ray

Love?

Dear Ray, my only light in the dark.

Isn't love is unbelievable? The way it comes is unpredictable, turns our mind into indescribable. Sometimes it's desirable but sometimes miserable.
Or could this be only me to have this puzzle in my mind?

With all my love,
Rain

---------------------------------------------

Dear Rain, my only source of happiness.

Have I ever told you the similarity between dream, achievement, and you? Dream is my only reason to life. To achieve it is the purpose of my life. And you, my dear, are the only dream I ever have.

Eternally yours,
Ray

Colors

Dear Ray, the only warmness I could feel,

Remember the time, the magical time, of our talk over colors?
White was the one I chose to represent you. But it was the one you denied. As yellow, was the only one you chose for you, your light and your shine.
Yet the memory comes and bothering me. Why couldn't white represent you? Aren't all colors will always be blended into white by you? Even though yellow is the only color others seen of you.
In every sounds of my raindrops I wish you to let me think that white will always be the one I see from you.
In every shine and warm of you that reach people's heart, I pray the warm and the shine may always in your light.

With all my love,
Rain

---------------------------------------------------

Dear Rain, my pure sparkle rain,

If I'm willing to grant your wish, would you draw what you've prayed for me? The warm, my dear, will never lead me to happiness. It's you, the cold drop that quench my thirst, my fire.
White, my dear, was the only color I start to believe in only one reason. White, as pure and plain as you. White, it's the cloud where you rest your tears, where I sink out of my light; our place. How can I deny white? How can I deny you?
In every tears of you that showers people's heart, I pray the purity may always in your tears.

Eternally yours,
Ray

Rainbow

Dear Ray, the warmness of my love,

Your tender beautiful writing to keep me stay beside you has bring me into a valley of hesitance. Your words has throb my heart for both joy and fear. None of the greatness could be compared to such wonderful dream of me standing beside you and staring on the earth. Together we share our bliss to all the living things on our green beloved earth. Oh how it seems right when everything is on our side.
Yet dream is nothing but a dream, my love. Destiny runs on our entity. We were created to be disparate. To stand beside you, means that I had to destruct you. That would be the last thing I could ever imagine.
With all my tears to stand beside you, means that I had to wipe out all your glorious shine, and that is the last thing I could ever do to you.
Oh how I wonder, when will come the day that I could leave away this valley of hesitance, the valley of destiny laying between your love and mine.

With all my love,
Rain

---------------------------------------------------

Dear Rain, my wonderful pure rain, the quench of my thirst,

None of the universe would ever understand what destiny is but the destiny itself. None of the universe. my dear, would ever understand what are they destined to.
Not even us.
Were we created to be a loathe or to be a lover? Were we created to be separated or to be connected?
If we were created to be a part, my dear, why did love grow in our heart? Or it is purely a lie that we were set in the same sky?
Yet I believe, my love, that destiny is on our side.
Does it a sorrow, my dear, that will come when I arise upon your tears? Does it a decease, my dear, that will come when every part of my light fused into your tears?
Or....
Could it be a rainbow?

Eternally yours,
Ray





Surabaya, Febuari 2015